Less than a decade ago freedom meant leaving my infant with my husband and going to the grocery store alone.  Shortly thereafter, I came to the abrupt understanding that freedom was the privilege of my whole life. I have the freedom to come and go, to choose my work, to choose where I live and whom I hang out with, and to express myself freely.  Too young at the time to have grasped Vietnam (or its preceding wars), I never understood the sacrifice that is made daily by brave people so I can take my freedom for granted.  I grasp it now and am sobered by it.

I don’t mean to write a patriotic tribute here, but I am inspired by what freedom means.  As I was riding my new bicycle last Friday enjoying a cool breeze and an endorphin high, I realized that what I was relishing in that moment was freedom.  I was moving faster than my own body could have taken me and I had the physical space that made me feel unencumbered.  I did not have to be anywhere at that particular moment and I could choose where I wanted to go as the road came upon me.  It was a transcendent feeling.  I wonder how else we can create freedom in our lives.

How can we create more time and space for ourselves?

How can we create financial freedom? Not necessarily a millionaire’s trust but the freedom to stop sweating one’s finances.

How can we create more room for opportunity?

Once again, I am privileged to even be able to ask the questions.  We have a choice and that is the ultimate freedom.  The question then, is what do we choose? Do we choose to suffer?  Do we choose to stay in situations that do not serve us? Do we choose to do nothing and assume we do not have the power to change something?

It really does come down to a choice. The choice to live and keep on growing or the choice to shrivel up and die in spirit.

What is freedom?  In a society where we are not at the mercy of militant leaders, freedom is a state of mind.  It’s declaring yourself free of the mental decisions and frameworks that dictate your limits.  It is purposely creating a choice between that which opens you to opportunity and that, which closes you off from any shot at it.  It’s the choice to persevere despite any odds against you.

What will you transcend?  What will you release?  What will tell you,  you are free?

Three straight weeks on vacation with my kids gives me such precious time to really be with them and learn who they are turning into it.  In so many ways it’s such a delight and yet there is still one glaring characteristic that screams out about them.  I know it’s a matter of age at this point, but navigating disappointment with them is often excruciating.  There is the requisite negotiation when they are told no about one thing or another but then there is the bigger version of dealing with disappointment, like today.

Here we are, in Vermont, on the final full day of our vacation, held hostage by driving rain that started last night and has only pretended that it was going to blow over.  We slept late and took our time with breakfast.  The kids found things to do to entertain themselves and we, the parents began to pack to make the best use of the time.  We had planned on spending the day at a local fair which would have meant rides, fair food and begrudgingly allowing ourselves to be ripped off by carnival games to my children’s great delight.  But, it rained and kept on raining.

We decided to investigate if the fair was ‘happening’ despite the mist (heavy at times) that persisted in the afternoon.  It was. Kind of.  The rides were not operating, but the food stands and game stands were open.  We bought the kids some fried dough and let the younger ones have a pony ride in the rain and yes, I let the kids play a couple of carnival games each.  The rain was not letting up so we declared it was time to go.

OK, get this picture.  A virtually empty fairground, kids with junky fair prizes in hand, bellies full standing in the rain each having their own version of a pretty major disappointment because we were not buying tickets to go on rides and stick around for a couple more hours!  The rides were not operating, the rain was coming down and we were the biggest party poopers around! Whhhaaat the heeeccckkkkk?!

I’ve almost become a broken-record repeating over and over “Look at what you did get, not what you didn’t get.” My kids ‘get it’ but don’t ‘get it’.  The statement doesn’t reinstate peace.

As with any parenting dilemma that frustrates me, I ask myself what I am projecting or what the situation is reflecting about me.  How do I deal with disappointments?

Today’s rain on our last big hurrah is a bummer but I don’t take it to heart.  It stinks but I am having a pleasant day and I’m not going to make it mean anything.  But I do know that when I suffer a BIG disappointment, I do take it very personally. I make it mean something negative about me and I do realize that when my children are very disappointed by something, I’ll find it hard to endure if I am unsuccessful in providing them comfort.  So, I get pissed that they’re disappointed because I can’t make it better and because I can’t help them get back to peace.

The solution?  Realize it’s not about ME and I can only do my best to support them through their disappointment. Can you relate?  Does other people’s behavior irritate you because it kicks up your own issues?  Just something to think about on a rainy day.