Hannukah is here and it was much anticipated by the kids, as usual.  The first night was warm and fun and the dash of maturity that another year brought my kids went a long way to make it more meaningful.  Our annual ritual will go into effect tonight and it will be an exciting eight days of rushing through dinner to get to the candle lighting and present opening.

However, this year, which was challenging for a lot of people, combined with being asked to prepare a sermon last Sunday for Sacred Center NY, had me contemplating the holiday more deeply.  Hannukah, Christmas and Kwanzaa all have a focus on lights or candles this time of year.  The lights symbolize different things in each tradition, and in Judaism in particular, the Hannukah lights represent the eight days that the oil burned in the temple when there was only enough oil for one night.  That is the miracle of Hannukah. The Jews had just won a battle that destroyed their temple and there was only one night’s worth of oil to burn.  The eight candles on a Menorah represent the eight-day miracle.  So that begs the question:

“Why are there nine candles in a Menorah?”

Ah, yes.  The ninth candle.  That candle is called the Shamash candle. Shamash in Hebrew means attendant or servant.  The Shamash is the servant to the other lights. The menorah can only be lit by the Shamash. It is not OK to light the other lights with any other candle other than the 9th one.  As the attendant to the light, the Shamash is responsible for lighting all the others.

Each of us is a light.  We have the choice as to whether we live from that lit-up place or ignore our light.  During the holiday season, most people feel their light more acutely. It’s a time of giving, sharing, remembering those less fortunate and wishing strangers on the street a good holiday.  What I suggest this year is that not only are we all ‘lights’ but we are also Shamash. We are both light and the servant to the light because in every moment we have the choice to light other lights as we go about our day.  Hold that image for a moment.

If you were the attendant of other lights, is there anything you would change?

I am the servant to the light in my children, my spouse, my family, my clients, by neighbors and I’ve chosen it as my work.  Do I succeed all the time? God, no!  But I am reminded as we light the menorah every night of the power we have to celebrate the light—the light in every single being.

Growing up, we were one of the only Jewish families in our school system and in truth, it’s not that much different for my kids, but the times have changed.  In my day, we did our Hannukah thing and no one really noticed.  My children, in contrast, are asked by their classmates to report what gift they received for Hannukah on a daily basis and actually have kids say they are jealous that the holiday last for eight days. Their teachers wonder if I’ll be bringing in latkes each year and look at me with eager anticipation so I’ll get the hint as this time rolls around.

When I was young, we had an electric menorah that lit up with those familiar orange bulbs.  No such gadget has ever entered my home. We have a very traditional menorah now and I love finding beautiful, artisan’s candles each year to grace it and help us honor the ‘festival of light’.

Hannukah is a relatively minor holiday in the scheme of all things Jewish but the commercialization of Christmas and this time of year makes it seem bigger than it is.  As a result of this and my kids getting older, their attention and expectation of gifts has became more intense.  As a kid, I remember getting socks for Hannukah which my children would scoff at if dared to suggest such a thing.

A couple of years ago, while I was in seminary, I came up with a new Hannukah tradition in our home to divert my children’s focus from the gift-giving aspect of the holiday. Hannukah celebrates the miracle of “light”.  When the destruction of the temple, led to a shortage of oil, one night’s oil miraculously burned for eight nights–therefore, the eight nights of Hannukah.  So, now, on each night of Hannukah, we talk about our ‘light and our ‘gifts’.  We focus on one person each night (before opening gifts)  and talk about what we see their gifts are and ask them to share how they will share their ‘light’ with us or the world.  On the extra nights (since we are five in the family) the kids bring something from their rooms that reflects their ‘light’, meaning sharing something that represents who they are.  They don’t always have the patience for mom’s ritual, but we do do it and they have been caught looking forward to it!

I look forward to each night myself.  I like that the kids have to wait 24 hours for their next gift because it seems they actually spend some time with the gift they are given this way.  I get to live their anticipation and excitement every night for eight days which is great fun. (although the last 12 hours before the first night of Hannukah just about drove me crazy as my daughter inquired about the start of the holiday every fifteen minutes!) I love that my kids know the Hebrew candle lighting prayer even though they have not had formal religious training and that they wait to open their gift one person at a time so they are present to each person’s experience.  The whole thing may last no more than ten minutes but those rich minutes are creating the memories of Hannukah that my children may write about someday. I hope I’m around to see how their kids’ Hannukah differs from theirs.

May the light burn bright within you, too.  Happy Hannukah.