A year ago this week, we realized that Wyatt had stopped having seizures.  It was hard to believe. It was miraculous and sudden.  It took a few months to medically confirm that the seizures were done and it took even longer to tell people that we had walked in a miracle.

It’s been a year. The last six months, with the fact accepted as truth, have been measured by things we can do now that we could not do before.  We did not carry a food scale, cream, mayonnaise and special food on our hikes in Vermont this summer. Wyatt had ice cream in August! He had his first Halloween in three years where he could eat the candy!  Thanksgiving and Christmas required no special cooking and every treat could be explored.

We have been celebrating daily with every step as Wyatt became a reader just this school year and is just about caught up with his grade level.  Double digit subtraction is a concept that is applicable today when math was not even approachable last year. Social skills have JUST blossomed and any worries there are evaporating. Swimming and Cub Scouts round out his life and all is well.

We will be having more tests next month, but we do not live in fear that the seizures will return.  We are ready to turn our heads to the future only.  No more comparing or marking time by what we could not do before.  We are looking forward now and we are OH, so grateful.

Maybe affirmations really do work after all.  We had a little mantra we chanted every night:  “I am seizure-free!”. Oh yes, you are, baby.  Yes you are!!!

Hannukah is here and it was much anticipated by the kids, as usual.  The first night was warm and fun and the dash of maturity that another year brought my kids went a long way to make it more meaningful.  Our annual ritual will go into effect tonight and it will be an exciting eight days of rushing through dinner to get to the candle lighting and present opening.

However, this year, which was challenging for a lot of people, combined with being asked to prepare a sermon last Sunday for Sacred Center NY, had me contemplating the holiday more deeply.  Hannukah, Christmas and Kwanzaa all have a focus on lights or candles this time of year.  The lights symbolize different things in each tradition, and in Judaism in particular, the Hannukah lights represent the eight days that the oil burned in the temple when there was only enough oil for one night.  That is the miracle of Hannukah. The Jews had just won a battle that destroyed their temple and there was only one night’s worth of oil to burn.  The eight candles on a Menorah represent the eight-day miracle.  So that begs the question:

“Why are there nine candles in a Menorah?”

Ah, yes.  The ninth candle.  That candle is called the Shamash candle. Shamash in Hebrew means attendant or servant.  The Shamash is the servant to the other lights. The menorah can only be lit by the Shamash. It is not OK to light the other lights with any other candle other than the 9th one.  As the attendant to the light, the Shamash is responsible for lighting all the others.

Each of us is a light.  We have the choice as to whether we live from that lit-up place or ignore our light.  During the holiday season, most people feel their light more acutely. It’s a time of giving, sharing, remembering those less fortunate and wishing strangers on the street a good holiday.  What I suggest this year is that not only are we all ‘lights’ but we are also Shamash. We are both light and the servant to the light because in every moment we have the choice to light other lights as we go about our day.  Hold that image for a moment.

If you were the attendant of other lights, is there anything you would change?

I am the servant to the light in my children, my spouse, my family, my clients, by neighbors and I’ve chosen it as my work.  Do I succeed all the time? God, no!  But I am reminded as we light the menorah every night of the power we have to celebrate the light—the light in every single being.

I can really only speak for this Jew, but I love Christmas. ( Something tells me I’m not alone.) For me, it gets down to two reasons.  One, the fascination as an ‘outsider’ who did not have Christmas in their home and two, the mood that permeates the air at Christmastime.

As a kid, I loudly proclaimed every year that when I grew up, I’d get a Christmas tree in my house. I could not stand that we did not get to share in the beauty of that tradition. I did not grow up in a religious household nor am I a religious Jew now, (I’m an interfaith minister for goodness sake!) but we did not cross the line to have Christmas in our home other than one gift from Santa every year.  ( I assume it was just too heartbreaking for my parents to see us wonder why Santa forgot us) Once I lived on my own, I never got that tree.  Nowadays, we hang ornaments the kids have made at school on the mantle, we have a garland of pine somewhere in the house because I love the scent and we’ve commercialized Hannukah with some blue and white lights around the Menorah’s perch, but that’s it.

The real reason I love Christmas then, is the spirit in the air that emerges at this time of year.  I love wishing people Merry Christmas and I don’t mind at all when they say it to me. In fact, I cringe if someone feels awkward not knowing what to say back because I am Jewish.  When the words are exchanged, a warm wish is extended that feels like the hug we should all give each other every day anyway.  Christmas is a time when people remember to walk in love.

The commemoration of Christ’s birth puts focus on the qualities Jesus lived.  Love, compassion and generosity are just a few, but they are the cornerstone of Christmas.  Families get together despite their dysfunctions, people count their blessings and give of themselves and their pocketbooks and kindness makes an appearance centerstage.  Hey, and we all eat like it’s the last supper.  ( I do have an Italian Catholic side to my family–we know ALL about eating from morning ’till nite on Jesus’ birthday!)

Walking in love is really my point here.  A smile, a Christmas wish, a card telling you how much you mean to someone, a door held open for your fellow shopper, a basket of food delivered to someone who needs it, buying gifts for a family that won’t have a holiday without help, talking to your neighbors who you rarely see, choosing something special to gift someone you love–they all add up to the warmth of the holiday season.  I know it’s not just about Christmas because Kwanza and Hannukah come now too, but as someone who grew up and has always lived as a minority to this predominantly Christian holiday, I don’t feel left out and I don’t mind it at all.  I only wish the spirit of it could be our way of being all year round.

As I write this, my heart swells with love that spreads a smile across my face, but I am also remembering how much wrapping I have to do. (Hannukah starts this Sunday night on the winter solstice)  Stress is trying to find its opening, but I won’t let it in. I’ll get out and catch some holiday spirit to combat it.  I dare suggest that you do the same. But first, I’ll make my reservation at the Chinese restaurant for Christmas Eve.  (That’s what Jews do on Christmas eve.  And if you ever wonder why they premier movies on Christmas, those are for us too!)