Running in the park this week, I was amused by the chatter I had going on in my own head.  (Yes, you are not the only crazy person who does this.)  On two occasions during the 45 minute run, I had a fantasy conversation with each of two particular individuals who I observed as I passed bye.

On the first pass, I said good morning to a man in his mid-thirties who was fishing.  He looked older than his years thanks to the stubble on his face, his humongous belly and the cigarette butt pursed in his lips that he bit down on as he barely opened his lips to return my greeting.  As I went by, I entered my fantasy face-off.  What if I turned around and approached him?

“Can I ask you something?”

“Uh, sure.”, he would answer.

“Do you mind being that unhealthy?”

“What?”, he would say befuddled.

“Do you mind being so unhealthy?”, I’d repeat.  “I’d love to see you care enough about yourself to give up smoking and eat better to get your health back.”

Before he could work up enough steam to rip my head off, I’d have turned back onto my running path and be gone.  He would never be able to catch me in the shape he was in, even though I might hear some choice words trailing off into the valley as I ran further away.

That was Fantasy Face-Off number one which kept me amused until I reached a spot a tenth of a mile down the way and began to smell what became an overpowering waft of cigar smoke.  I couldn’t determine where it was coming from because there was nobody near me, and then, as I was just about to pass it, just thirty feet from me, was a parked car with a man inside who had his arm draped out the open window and over the door brandishing a cigar as fat as a bratwurst.

I was warmed up from my last imaginary confrontation, so I felt embolded for this one.

“Would you mind putting out your cigar?”, I would ask.

“Yes, I do mind.”, he might say.

“Well, could I ask you then to put your cigar back inside the car and roll up your window? I am trying to enjoy the fresh air for a run and I am choking on the second hand smoke and stench.”

“That’s your problem.”, I’d expect to hear.

“Yes, it is.”, I’d say.  “And the cause of my problem, is you, so I am asking you to do something about it. If it were pleasant, you would be smoking your cigar inside your car without the ventilation you obviously need. Actually, you would probably love to be home relaxing with this cigar but whoever you live with has banned you from smelling up the house. And you cannot stand the smell in your car so you are sharing it with the trees and me.  It’s not OK.  In fact, I bet your lungs are not too happy about it either.  I wish you good health and I bid you goodbye.”

Now this guy could catch me in his car if he wanted to, but that is where I left the fantasy and went on with my run.  I was still amused at the safety of my face offs, but then I went all serious on myself.

“You say you are a spiritual teacher, you are interested in the higher road, the higher way.  Aren’t you judging people and isn’t that wrong?”, I thought as I began a face off with myself.

“Well, how spiritual is it to say nothing and mind my own business?”, I gently asked.  “I am inviting each of them to look at something that when faced, could lead to taking a different action that is proven to improve their bodily condition and is likely to affect other areas of their life positively.  Is that unloving?”

This made me think about the work of missionaries and doctors feeling they know better than native people and must save them from themselves by educating them and vaccinating them.  It all sounds right until the older populations begin to suffer as the younger generations leave for more education and opportunity or the overcrowding and lack of food that is created by those who were vaccinated living longer.  Is it right to intervene?

What do you think?  Some people think it’s OK to intervene when a parent is being harsh with a child at the mall.  Others walk bye.  Some people will get in the middle of a couple arguing if fists start to fly. Others scatter. These are the everyday things and then helping those without resources is another, but not entirely.

So, is it OK to approach someone who is not doing what they can for themselves?  I would not want anyone walking up to me and suggesting I should work out more as a way to beautify the planet.  But smoking?  Injecting your bad habit into the air for all of us?

Weigh in.  What do you think?  And what’s your latest Fantasy Face-Off?

The ‘blogees’ have spoken and I am so grateful.  The most comments on my humble blog ever!  Thanks for your help.  You want humanness?  I got humanness!  Today it comes in the form of sloth.

I had a SAD day today on a sunny day!  That does not usually happen.  Sun and I are very simpatico and our moods align like BFF’s yielding productive, gratitude-filled days.  NOT TODAY.  Today, I found my face in my pillow three times.  Three naps in one day!  Unheard of.  And despite sleep, my usual elixir of clarity and energy, I got foggier with each round.

For a few hours, I thought I was ‘going down’ as we call it in my house when someone is heading towards a debilitating flu.  But no, I rebounded.  A friend had had a small heart attack over the weekend and I could not help thinking that my symptoms were echoing hers.  I questioned whether I was avoiding working on my book by developing a case of slothhood today.  None of it stuck as a real reason.

So, I surrender.  This gets to be ‘me’ today.  Not my best. Not my worst.  Not who I want to be, but it’s what I’ve got today.  Now, I just wish for bedtime.  Easy, you’d think.  The trick is getting three kids to bed so I can too!

I am having blogsgivings.  Kind of like misgivings except it’s about my blog.  When people ask me if I blog or if I’m a blogger, the answer is “not exactly”.  Yes, I have a blog, but to me a blogger has a clear theme, message or story and they post about it regularly.  I don’t post regularly, as you well know, and where this blog started out with the theme of ‘what makes a meaningful life’, it feels rather directionless at the moment.

I don’t want a ‘Dear Diary’ type of blog.  I hesitate to give too much voice to my irreverence and I can only stand so much spiritual insight myself right now.  So, I am turning to you.  The small, but lovely group that will actually read this blog post.  What do you want from me?!  What is it that I have written in the last two years that has made it worth you sticking around?  What do you want to read that will keep you around?

It’s not like I have other things to do—write book five, take care of three kids, a husband and a house and run a full time coaching and speaking business.  I do lack time and  lose track of the blog, but if you helped me know that it mattered, I know I could find myself at this posting station more often.

Speak now or forever hold your piece.  Have no piece-givings. Speak!